Why Didn't His Mother Pick Him Up At LAX?
The circle of life. Whatever that means.
Imagine his disappointment when his mother didn’t pick him up at LAX. True, she never explicitly said she was going to. But, there was something in her voice when she had asked what airlines he was taking and and what time he was landing that made him smile to himself and think, “I think she’s picking me up at the airport.”
Her last words were, “Honey, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” followed by a giggle.
The giggle nailed it. What she really wanted to say was, “Honey, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the airport.”
But, she didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
Perhaps, if he had considered her age - 97. Considered that she still was recovering from a broken hip, which required her to use a walker. By the way, the broken hip followed shortly on the heels of her full recovery from a fractured pelvis.
If he had considered all that, he might have realized the improbability of his mother hustling over to LAX to pick pick him up.
That’s just not the way he rolls.
No, he thought she’d be there. Of course, she’d be there.
He was crestfallen when she didn’t show.
It was a twenty-five minute ride to his mother’s condo from LAX. There was no way he was going to let his Uber driver know any of this. So, for the entire ride he chit-chatted while simultaneously trying to decide what to say to his mother.
Not picking up someone at the airport isn’t a felony, but it for sure exceeds a misdemeanor. Is there a word for that in the penal code? Must be, he thought. Just couldn’t come up with it.
Like a thunderbolt, it struck him. His mother never planned to greet him at the airport. How could she with that walker and all? It would have been a logistical nightmare.
Why then the telltale giggle? Here’s why. He got it wrong. She wasn’t going to meet him at the airport. She was going to meet him in the lobby of her building and help him with his luggage. She was going to swap her walker for his suitcase which was on wheels. She’d insist because that’s who she is.
He would feign resistance. She would overrule him. She was very proud of how much her upper body strength had increased during rehab for her fractured pelvis.
“I now have muscles where I should have muscles,” she had told him God knows how many times.
After the thunderbolt, he began getting excited again to see his mother. He wished he could stop talking to the Uber driver but knew if he did, he would get a bad rating. Someone once told him, “better to not talk at all then start conversation and dial it back.”
So he kept chit-chatting. While he did, he tried to remember the last time he saw his mother. My god, he hadn’t seen her since before she fractured her pelvis. When was that? Five or 6 months ago?
That’s a long time. That’s like longer than ever. There had to have been a good reason. There must have been a good reason. Then he remembered. When she fractured her pelvis, his sisters, Holly and Alison, explicitly told him not to come. They said she was in a lot of pain; there was nothing he could do for her; he would be in the way.
Just as she was almost fully recovered from the fractured pelvis, she fell and broke her hip. Again, he was told not to come out.
He was very fortunate his mutual love and closeness with his mother never depended on the frequency of how often they saw one another.
They talked on the phone all the time. Except when they didn’t. Which was like every eight out of nine days. Calls often went on for hours. On the days he brought his A game, he could make her laugh like nobody’s business.
On days when he didn’t have his A game, she’d let him know his jokes weren’t funny. If they were teasy — is there any other kind? — she would give him a piece of her mind.
Why would you want to tease your own mother?
I’m sorry, but usually you find it funny.
Why can’t you talk to me like a normal person?
Define a normal person.
You get the drift. To summarize, the good calls were amazing. So amazing, he and his mother were willing to overlook the bad ones.
By the way, if you do a real deep dive into family systems theory, you’ll learn this specific mother-son dynamic is both common and considered acceptable.
Let’s cut to the chase. When his Uber pulled up to her building, his mother wasn’t outside waiting to greet him. Nor was she in the lobby.
He was gobsmacked.
On his own, he negotiated his suitcase, tennis bag, and backpack thru the lobby, down a forever hallway, into the elevator. With his right knee he pushed her floor number and then stewed as the elevator made it’s way to the 15th floor.
Either she’s a great, great actor or he had just read everything wrong. His mother wasn’t behaving like someone who had reneged on both picking him up at the airport and helping him with his luggage.
Her hug was so warm and gooey, he almost forgot the umbrage he was feeling. Almost. No he wasn’t going to let her off the hook. He had to say something. Something right then and there. In her vestibule.
He withdrew from her embrace, which to reiterate really was lovely. He stepped back and took her in.
Here is this woman who brought him into this world. This woman at 97 who looks preternaturally young. And that’s without having any work done.
This woman who is the progenitor of four children, 12 grandchildren, and 17 great-grandchildren.
This woman who fully recovered from a fractured pelvis and is all but fully recovered from a broken hip — all during her 97th year. Who does that? Like no one he ever heard about.
This woman who stepped into the breach when his father died when he was thirteen.
Who once stayed with his three children for six weeks during a family crisis.
Who praises him for being a great father and a great grandfather.
Perhaps most important, taught him the ins and outs of what it is to be a man.
Here’s the salient stuff —
Don’t waste your time counting other people’s money.
Write thank you notes. Even if you already thanked them in person.
Always open the door for a woman.
Let women and children in and out of elevators first.
Wear a belt.
Own a raincoat.
Treat everyone with respect — even if you don’t like them.
As he looked at her, he thought about all that. As he did, it wasn’t lost on him how profound and meaningful all of this was. How lucky he was to have her for a mother. How much she has shaped him to be the person who he is today.
He thought that if he should do anything, he should express his gratitude.
,He should do it right then.
He so wanted to.
Really, really wanted to.
He knew he would be a better man if he did.
Perhaps, complete the circle of life. Whatever that means.
All that being said, she was still the woman who didn’t pick him up at the airport nor meet him the lobby to help him with his bags.
Something needed to be said.
So, he did.
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